wasari amusar

another batch of text messages in my cellphone's inbox.

1. Census taker(CT): occupation please? Guy: Callboy po sir! CT: hindi pwede yan, mag-isip ka ng iba! Guy: Condom salesman with free demonstration.

2. Life is unfair. RICH: allergy, POOR: galis; RICH: credit card, POOR: bumbay; RICH: liberated, POOR: pokpok; RICH: scars, POOR: bakokang; RICH: smart, POOR: globe! nyahaha!

3. Love is like a bowl of oatmeal; warm, mushy and good for you. Lust is like soup, it is only good when it is hot. =)

4. Masaya, di ba? Na tayo ay nagkakaisa sa iisang bisyo ng bayan? Ang magtext nang magtext?! Na kahit hindi magkakasama, isa pa rin ang layunin, ang mang-ISTORBO ng nananahimik. =)

5. A gun can kill someone, a fire can burn someone, wind can chill, anger can rage till it tears you apart, but the power of my smile... hanep! pati bacteria, tulala!

6. Hoy! buwisit ka! Kapal ng mukha mo! Plastic mo pala! Painosente ka pa! Huwag mo na akong kakausapin! Traydor! Sinungaling! Direk: "ok, cut!" Title: "KINABAHAN KA The movie"

7. Maid: Sir, sino mas masarap, ako o si Ma'am? Sir: (bola) syempre ikaw. Bakit mo naman naitanong? Maid: kasi, naguguluhan ako, sabi kasi ng driver natin, mas masarap daw si Ma'am kesa sa akin! =)

8. Malalaman mo ang sakit mo sa pamamagitan ng pagtikim sa kulangot. Kapag matamis, meron kang diabetes, kapag maalat, may sakit ka sa bato, kapag mapait, may sakit ka sa atay. kapag tinikman mo, may sakit ka sa utak!

9. Mrs1: kinakausap mo ba ang mister mo habang nakikipagsex ka? Mrs2: hindi ah. Pinapatay ko nga ang cellphone ko para hindi nya ako matawagan!

10. When your dreams seem so far away, when everything seems so distant, when the stars seem out of your reach... just reach... hard... gomez. =)

11. HOY! PENGENG FRENCH FRIES!!! Show this at any McDonalds and get free regular fries thrown to your face! Promo valid until the guard kicks you out!

12. wasari amusar bikulom de amunar talaspaku amunar hom ir de pekre al madukurar hom, hom puran! Binasa mo? Lagot! Orasyon yun para kumapal ang buhok mo... down there! =)

13. Mahirap kumatok sa pusong nasugatan na, minsan, katok ka ng katok, pero nakasara pa din, hanggang sa napagod ka na, ang hindi mo alam, may door bell pala! bad trip.

14. New appointed Muslims in government: FINANCE - Abu Nado; JUSTICE - Abu Gado; PNP - Abu Sado; AFP - Abu Ridu; DSWD - Abu Luy; AGRI - Abu Kado; DOH - Abu Lario; CUSTOMS - Abu Tan

15. If Jennifer Lopez is "J.Lo", Jaworski is "Jawo", our president is "GMA" and Tracy McGrady is "T-Mac", do you think it's alright to call Bishop Teodoro Bacani, "T-Bac?" tingin mo?

yun lang!