Friday, May 12, 2006

calories expenditure

warning: R-18. blasphemous. if you are offended by green jokes, stop reading from here. if not, go on.

nabasa ko ang post ni jinkee at naisip kong may ganun ding calories expenditure akong natanggap kamakailan lang sa aking officemate na itago na lang natin sa pangalang ryan. hinalungkat ko ang inbox ko at may nakita nga ako. so, heto na...
It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now no one had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research we are proud to present the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent........................ 12 Calories
Without her consent.................... 187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.......................... 8 Calories
With one hand........................... 12 Calories
With your teeth..........................85 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection......................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary...............................12 Calories
69 lying down............................78 Calories
69 standing up..........................112 Calories (hirap nito)
Wheelbarrow............................ 216 Calories (mas mahirap ito)
In the bathtub .........................326 Calories
Italian chandelier......................912 Calories

ORGASMING:
Real....................................112 Calories
False...................................315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging.................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately.................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.............................816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are: 20-29 years old..............36 Calories
30-39 years..............................80 Calories
40-49 years.............................124 Calories
50-59 years.............................972 Calories
60-69 years............................2916 Calories
70 and over........................... Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry.............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door.. 1218 Calories
With her husband knocking at the door. 3521 Calories
yun lang!

3 comments:

jinkee said...

hahaha.... mas detalyado yang sa yo.

tutubing_karayom said...

Naku loko loko tlga kayo no!!

jack said...

tito aga, ano na naman ito?! haha.. pero kakaaliw basahin..